


Caffeine Dependence

by Tenukii



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Awkward Crush, Baristas, First Dates, Graduate School, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 12:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13857681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenukii/pseuds/Tenukii
Summary: Business student Ben Solo's life is turned upside down when his usual barista quits.  Not that hemissesPoe Dameron, not at all.  When he asks Poe out, it's not because helikesthe annoyingly cheerful guy.  And when he starts seeing Poe more and more often, it most certainly isn't because Ben is falling in love.





	1. Chapter 1

On Monday morning, a different barista served Ben for the first time in over a year.  She didn’t have his order memorized the way his usual barista did, and she still got it wrong when he gave it to her.

As she handed him his drink, he asked, reluctantly, “Where’s Poe?”

“Oh, he quit.”  She beamed at him.  “Have a nice day!”

\--

He had a terrible day.

Ben blamed it on the new barista, who ruined his coffee.  And if he missed Poe, it was only because Poe always got his order just right.  Not because Ben had gotten used to seeing the other man’s pretty face every morning, Poe’s perfect smile and tan skin and black, wavy hair and warm eyes.  He didn’t miss how Poe always came to bother him after Ben had sat in that armchair in the corner for about an hour—Poe asking if he needed anything else, Ben grumbling no, Poe laughing at his sulkiness and drifting away again.  Ben _certainly_ didn’t miss how, if he stayed for another hour or so, Poe’s shift would end and he’d come bother Ben some more, interrupting his work by curling his short little body up in the other armchair and talking at Ben about his job, or his crazy-sounding friends, or the classes Poe was taking at the nearby aviation college.  And _most certainly_ Ben didn’t miss Poe’s incessant questions about _his_ life, or how Poe always listened to Ben’s persistent complaints about his parents and his students and his own MBA courses.

Ben missed Poe’s unsolicited advice on his problems _least of all_ , even if that advice was mostly sound—except for the frequent suggestions that Ben needed to relax and have fun every once in a while.  Those suggestions usually led Poe to ask further intrusive questions about Ben’s non-existent love life, and even though Ben always retorted that he didn’t have time for dating, Poe unfailingly declared that Ben should _make_ time.  Ben hated the smug little bastard every time he said it; hated the way Poe looked both patient and cocky when he suggested that if Ben had time to visit the coffee shop, he had time to date; hated that apparently, in Poe’s world, thinking positive was all it took to turn one’s life around.

But how the hell was Ben supposed to think positive when his coffee tasted so terrible, or when he spent nearly _three_ hours in the coffee shop not missing Poe’s annoying interruptions, or when things just kept going wrong for the entire day because Ben was preoccupied with not wondering if he’d ever see Poe again?

\--

In fact, Ben had a terrible _week_.

He didn’t go for coffee Tuesday morning, deciding none at all was better than the horrible stuff the new barista had served him.  The absence of Poe had nothing to do with why Ben avoided the coffee shop that morning, or every other morning until Friday—because, after all, he didn’t miss Poe in the least.  Reminding himself of that fact, Ben returned to the shop on Friday, driven back by yet another caffeine-withdrawal headache and the idea that maybe he could get caught up on all the papers he hadn’t graded that week while he was busy not contemplating an abruptly Poe-less existence.

The new barista made his order marginally better than she had on Monday.  Ben still grimaced every time he took a sip of his coffee, but it did make his headache dissipate, and he was able to settle into his chair and get into a rhythm of marking tests.  He even managed to forget about how much he didn’t miss Poe, until someone came over and collapsed into the other chair—a chair that had always remained empty unless Poe was occupying it.  Ben tried to ignore the intruder, until the man spoke.

“Where the hell _were_ you?”

Ben’s head shot up.  Poe was sitting there, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, looking at him expectantly.

“I. . . what?” Ben stammered.

“You haven’t come in all week!” Poe exclaimed.

“How would _you_ know?” Ben asked in amazement.  “I was here Monday.  You. . . you quit.”

“Had to—I started my internship with an airline this week,” Poe said.  “We had orientation Monday morning, but I’ve come by here every morning since.  So where were _you_?”

Ben stared at him, then gestured weakly at his coffee.  “This is terrible.  It was worse on Monday.  I wasn’t going to come back since you were gone.”

Poe quirked an eyebrow upward.

“Because you were the only one who could get my order right,” Ben explained further, lest Poe think Ben missed him for any other reason.

“So why’d you come back _today_?” Poe persisted.

“Caffeine withdrawals.  And the Starbucks on campus is too noisy for me to get any work done.”  Ben saw Poe’s lips curve upward into a smile, so he added defensively, “I had no idea you’d be here.  I thought I’d never see you again.”

Poe’s smile grew, and he asked, “Why do you think I’ve been coming by every morning?  Although you decided to show up just in time.  I was gonna give up if you weren’t here today.”

Ben kept staring at him.

“I missed you,” said Poe.

“ _Why?_ ” Ben blurted out.  Poe looked back at him a moment, his smile slowly evaporating.

Finally, instead of answering the question, Poe muttered, “I’d better go.  I’ve got to be at the airport in an hour.”  He stood up, and as he turned away, Ben realized he probably _wouldn’t_ ever see Poe again.

“Poe?”

Poe stopped and said, “Yeah?” over his shoulder.

“I missed you too,” Ben mumbled.

Ben stood up when Poe turned back to face him.  He had to look down to meet Poe’s wide, dark eyes, and Poe had to look up.

_Think positive,_ Ben told himself.  Could he?  He didn’t have much experience with it.

“Can I have your phone number?” he asked.  Poe’s eyes widened a little bit more, but then the smile crept back over his mouth, and he held out his hand.

“Okay.  Gimme your phone.”

Ben unlocked his phone and handed it over.  Poe flicked his fingers over the screen, then paused and lifted his eyes back to Ben’s.

“You can have my number on one condition,” he told Ben.

Ben swallowed and asked, “What’s that?”

“You call me later today and ask me out.”  Poe kept looking at him until Ben gave him a weak nod.  After that, the smaller man punched a number into the phone and handed it back.  When Ben took it, Poe grinned.

“I still gotta go,” he said.  “Give the new girl some time—you bitched about how _I_ made your drink, too, when I first started here.”  As Poe left and Ben sat down again, he tried to remember if that was true.  It probably was, but he couldn’t really recall what things were like before he’d gotten used to Poe being in his life.

Ben looked down at the number Poe had put in his phone, then pressed the green “call” button.  When Poe answered, he sounded a little bewildered.  But after all, he couldn’t have gotten far from the coffee shop in just a couple minutes, and he wouldn’t recognize Ben’s number when it showed up on his caller ID.

“Hello?” Poe asked.

Ben swallowed again and muttered into the phone, “Will you go out with me?  Tonight?”

He heard Poe’s laughter over the phone, but it didn’t sound mocking.  It sounded warm.  Friendly.  Happy.

“Yes, I’ll go out with you, Ben,” said his former barista.  “At long as it’s not for coffee.”

\--

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

That evening, Ben drove to Poe’s house to pick him up.  He hadn’t been on a real date in years, literally, and his last one had been with a girl, and it hadn’t gone very well.  Ben couldn’t even quite remember now why he’d asked Poe out, why he had been that desperate just to get the man’s phone number.  It wasn’t like Ben _normally_ dated guys (or anyone, for that matter), and even if he did, he wouldn’t have wanted to date _Poe_.  Poe was annoying: too cheerful, too nice, too much Ben’s complete opposite in every way.

Several times throughout the day, as he taught two Intro to Business classes and got mostly caught up on his grading and took twice as long to shower and dress than he normally did, Ben almost called Poe back to cancel.  Poe would only annoy him further, and Ben would probably say something else wrong and make Poe upset, and then he would be worse off than if he had just let Poe walk out of his life in the first place.

But somehow, Ben couldn’t bring himself to cancel the date, and somehow, he found himself walking up to Poe’s half of a cute little duplex in a cute little neighborhood at exactly 6:30.  Ben raked a hand through his hair— _too long,_ he thought, _I should have got it cut today. . . yeah, during what free time?_ —then knocked on the burgundy front door.  (The duplex, save for the matching doors, was painted a drab green, making the whole thing resemble a giant olive stuffed with two pimientos.)  The door opened a second later, Ben looked down to see Poe grinning up at him, and he suddenly remembered exactly why he had been so desperate.

Poe might have been annoying, but he was also devastatingly hot.

Ben took him to a fifties-style diner near his university; Poe was delighted although he commented that it seemed way too cheerful a place for Ben’s tastes.  He was right, but the food was good enough that Ben was able to put up with the atmosphere, and he went there fairly often.

After they’d ordered, Ben stared down at the red-and-white checked tablecloth and tried to think of something to talk about.  Before he could, Poe spoke up.

“So why did you ask me out?”

Ben flicked his eyes up to give the other man what was nearly a glare.  “You told me to, remember?”

“Oh, I know, but I mean. . . wasn’t that why you wanted my number in the first place?  To ask me out?”  Poe didn’t look amused, only curious, but Ben still felt like he was being teased.

“Honestly, I wasn’t thinking that far ahead,” Ben muttered, looking down again.  “I just. . . you were leaving, and I didn’t want to lose you.”  That sounded way more serious than he meant it to, but when Ben glanced up at Poe again, the look in those gorgeous dark eyes kept him from taking it back.  Instead, he challenged, “So why did you _tell_ me to ask you out?”

Poe smiled—no man should have a mouth that pretty, it just wasn’t fair—and said, “I’ve wanted to go out with you for months.”

“You _what?_ ”

“But apparently, you don’t know how to take a hint.  Or lots of hints,” Poe went on.  “And I was tired of waiting.”

Ben opened his mouth to retort something—he didn’t even know what—but their server interrupted him by delivering their food in an irritatingly perky manner.  (Ben had to remind himself, once again, how good his cheeseburger would taste, and that it was worth the nauseating ambiance of the place.)  Poe was irritatingly perky in return as he thanked her, and by the time they were finally alone again, Ben decided just to let the whole thing drop.

They went to the movies after dinner, and as they walked through the parking lot from Ben’s car to the theater, Poe grabbed his hand.  Ben panicked.  What if someone saw them?  Why did Poe even _want_ to hold his hand?  Why was Poe’s little hand so warm, and why was he holding Ben’s so tightly, and why did it make Ben feel so good inside?

Poe didn’t let go even when they got inside, and Ben didn’t try to take his hand away.  People _must_ have seen them, but nobody paid any attention, and Ben started to get a little annoyed by _that_ : he wanted someone to notice that he had scored a date with such a beautiful man. . . a man who claimed to have wanted to date him for months.  _Months._   Ben decided he should pursue that line of conversation after all.

“What do you want to see?” Poe asked him while Ben was trying to decide how to broach the subject.

“I don’t like comedies,” Ben mumbled, “or romances.  Or romantic comedies, obviously.”  Poe chuckled, and Ben felt his date’s thumb moving back and forth across the back of his hand.

“Why not?” Poe asked.

“Comedies are always too gross—modern ones I mean, the old ones are fine,” Ben tried to explain.  “And romances are just. . . ridiculous.”

“Why?” Poe persisted.

Ben groaned, “I don’t _know_ , I just don’t like them.  Why do I have to have a reason?”

“Because you seem like the kind of guy who has a reason for _everything_.”  Poe’s arm was touching Ben’s, the smaller man almost leaning on him, as he gazed up at Ben with that infuriatingly pretty smile.  “So what kind of movies _do_ you like?  Or do you just hate everything in the whole world?”

“Yes,” said Ben, deadpan.  And Poe laughed, laughed so hard he closed his eyes and _did_ lean into Ben, who wanted nothing more than to put both arms around Poe’s trembling body and—

And _why_ was he getting turned on in the middle of a movie theater lobby?

“Come _on_ ,” he growled at Poe, tugging the hem of his shirt down lower with his free hand and pulling Poe with him toward the ticket line with the other.  “Just pick something.  I’ll watch whatever you want.”

“I’m paying for it,” Poe announced when he managed to stop laughing.

“What?  But _I_ asked _you_ —”

“Because I made you, and anyway, you bought me dinner.”  Poe dropped Ben’s hand to get out his wallet and stepped neatly in front of Ben to block him from the ticket window when Ben tried to protest.

Poe bought them tickets to some sort of action movie, handed Ben’s ticket over to him, then promptly took his hand again on the way to their theater.

Once they were seated on the back row—Poe’s choice—Ben finally got his chance to return to their earlier conversation.  He didn’t bother looking for a way in and instead blurted out, “If you wanted to go out with me for months, why didn’t you ask me?”

They were still holding hands, arms together in the space between their bodies with the armrest flipped up behind them.  Poe glanced at Ben when he spoke, but then the smaller man looked away, toward the front of the theater.

“I didn’t know what you’d say,” he murmured.  “I thought maybe I annoyed you sometimes.”

“You did, sometimes,” muttered Ben, “because you’re always so cheerful and positive and—and _cute_.  But. . . .”  He shifted to face forward too and mumbled, “But I would have gone out with you sooner, if you had asked.”

Poe didn’t say anything else because the previews began right about then, but he kept his hand in Ben’s.  Ben _hated_ previews, yet staring blindly at them gave him time to think and weigh his options: his hand was getting hot, and he had to decide if he wanted to put up with that, or let go and risk making Poe think Ben didn’t _like_ holding his hand.  Which, strangely enough, Ben _did_ like.  Finally, he hit upon what seemed like an obvious solution, but it still took him until the end of the string of previews to work up the nerve to let go of Poe’s hand and put his arm around the smaller man’s shoulders instead.

He’d thought perhaps Poe wouldn’t like it—it was a gesture both forward and clichéd all at the same time—but Poe immediately snuggled against him and stayed there for the whole movie.  Even though Ben’s arm went to sleep, and even though the movie was devoid of plot and therefore dismally boring, Ben didn’t move until the end credits started.

It was almost eleven by the time he took Poe home, so he was surprised when Poe asked if he wanted to come in.

“I’ll make you some coffee,” Poe offered while they were still sitting in Ben’s car, parked outside the cute little duplex.

“I don’t know—it’s late.  And I thought you said no coffee tonight,” Ben accused.

Poe shrugged and grinned at him.  “I changed my mind.  Come on—you know I’m the only one who can give it to you the way you want it.”

If the phrase had come from the mouth of anyone besides Poe, Ben would have known it was intended as a double entendre.  Still, no matter what Poe actually meant by it, Ben felt himself blush hard.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he unbuckled his seat belt. “But I can’t stay long.”

The coffee Poe fixed for him tasted exactly like Ben’s regular order at the shop, from the steamed milk (Poe really had his own milk steamer?) all the way to the perfect amount of whipped cream on top—just a little, not too much like the inferior new barista kept giving him.  Poe had fixed himself a coffee drink as well with _entirely_ too much whipped cream on top, and too much caramel syrup on top of that.  Ben eyed the other man over the top of his mug as they sat on opposite ends of Poe’s sofa, facing one another.  Poe flicked out his tongue to lick his whipped cream.  Ben squirmed.

“Did I get it right?” Poe asked, smirking, knowing perfectly well that he did.

“Yes,” Ben admitted.  “I guess I’m going to have to come over whenever I want my coffee prepared properly.”

“Anytime.”  Poe was still smirking.  “Just call first.  In a couple weeks, I’m gonna start going out on flights, so I’ll be away overnight sometimes.”

“Oh,” said Ben, suddenly remembering that Poe had a life beyond the coffee shop.  “How’s the internship going?”

Poe’s smirk shifted into an actual smile as he answered, “Oh, it’s been awesome!  Everyone working there is great—so are the other interns.  We all can’t wait until we get to start flying out with the pilots.  From what I hear, it’s a load of fun, traveling all over, going out a lot, that kind of thing.”

“Oh,” Ben said again.  It would probably be a lot more fun than going out with _him_.  If he even was planning to ask Poe out again.  Which he wasn’t, not necessarily, because Poe would be gone so often, and Ben himself would only be busier as he progressed toward getting his degree, and it wasn’t like he had had _that_ fantastic a time even if holding Poe against his side in the movie theater had made Ben feel complete in a way he’d never experienced before.

Poe had been such a regular, dependable part of Ben’s life until that Monday, when his quitting the coffee shop had turned Ben’s entire world on its head.  And just when Ben was getting used to Poe _not_ being part of his life anymore, Poe had to come back in again and shake him up even _more_.  Ben hated uncertainty, and that’s what Poe represented, that and everything which was the complete opposite of everything _Ben_ represented.  Ben scowled down into his coffee and decided that as soon as he finished it, he’d leave, and he’d tell Poe they shouldn’t see each other again, and that would be the end of it.

“When was the last time you kissed somebody?”

Ben raised his head to stare at the other man.  “ _What?_ ”

“When was the last time you kissed somebody?” Poe repeated.  He had set his own mug down on the beat up coffee table in front of the sofa, and he now sat with his legs drawn up and his arms wrapped around his knees, watching Ben.

“I. . . I don’t know!” Ben grumbled.  “A. . . a while.  Why?”

“I thought so,” said Poe.  “The first time I saw you, you looked so grumpy, I thought, ‘I bet no one has kissed him in a long time.’  And when you never cheered up, I knew you _still_ weren’t getting kissed.”

Ben tried to ignore him and finish his coffee.

“At first, I tried to think of someone to set you up with,” Poe went on, as if Ben were interested in his rambling, “but no one I came up with seemed right.  After a couple months, I figured out why.”  He stopped, still watching Ben, then asked, “Want to know why?”

Ben sighed, “Why?”

“Because,” Poe replied, “every time I thought of someone else kissing you, it bothered me because _I_ wanted to kiss you.  I wanted to be the one to cheer you up, and every morning, before you’d come in, I would wonder if someone else had gotten to you first.”

“They haven’t,” Ben muttered, “and I don’t see why _you_ would want to either.  We’re complete opposites, and we shouldn’t—hey, I wasn’t finished with that!”  Poe had leaned forward and pulled Ben’s mug out of his hands.  Poe ignored his protest and set the mug on the coffee table beside his own.

“You need kissing,” Poe declared.  He turned back to Ben and laid his hands along Ben’s jaws and kissed him.  Poe did it slowly, parting his lips a little but not doing anything more than caressing Ben’s own lips.  He closed his mouth over Ben’s and rested it there a moment, then started to draw back.

Ben’s body must have moved of its own accord, because it wasn’t like he’d ever _thought_ about kissing Poe, or wondered what Poe would taste like, or watched him licking whipped cream just now and wanted to feel Poe’s tongue in his mouth more than he’d ever wanted anything else in his life.  But when Poe began to pull away, Ben’s hands lifted all on their own and grasped Poe’s head and held him there so Ben could kiss him back.  He plunged his tongue into Poe’s mouth, and Poe tasted exactly as Ben had thought he would: sweet and a little bit like coffee, which was probably precisely what his drink tasted like, more cream than coffee, which in Ben’s opinion missed the point of having coffee at all.

Poe made a noise that started as a squawk of surprise and ended as a moan.  His arms slipped around Ben’s neck, and then his tight little body was in Ben’s lap, pushing him back against the arm of the sofa and rubbing up on him exactly how Ben had imagined at the theater.  Ben’s hands dropped to Poe’s hips and gripped them as Ben thrust against him and kissed Poe the way Ben had always heard you weren’t supposed to kiss someone on the first date.

But it didn’t _feel_ like a first date.  He’d known Poe for a year, and in that time, they’d come to learn just about everything about one another.  Poe was spontaneous and annoying and cheerful, and he _was_ Ben’s complete opposite—and that was why they fit together so perfectly, why Ben felt like he’d known Poe forever and had always been in love with him, why finally having Poe’s tongue in his mouth and Poe’s hands gripping the back of his shirt and Poe’s hips grinding on him in exactly the perfect spot felt so _right_.

And that was also why it was so terrifying.

“Poe,” Ben groaned into the other man’s mouth in between kisses, “Poe, we—we shouldn’t—”

“Why not?”  Poe finally stopped kissing him and held still, pressed tightly against him.  Poe’s forehead rested against Ben’s, and their lips brushed as he mumbled, “You’re _not_ about to tell me you’re not gay.  You can’t kiss me like that and not be gay.  And you’re hard—you’re as hard as I am.  You are _so_ gay.”

“I—that doesn’t have anything to do with it!” Ben protested.  “We. . . we just _shouldn’t_.”  He tried to recall exactly what he had planned to say upon finishing his coffee, but Poe’s mouth and body so close to his were too much of a distraction.  Ben settled for mumbling, “We’re too different.  And you’ll be going away, on your flights.”

He _kept_ mumbling, unable to stop himself any more than he could keep his hands from sliding down Poe’s hips to grip his backside and hold the smaller man even tighter against him.

“And you’ll go to all kinds of wonderful places and meet all kinds of interesting people and find someone who’s perfect for you, someone a lot more exciting and less boring than _me_.”  Ben finally remembered at least one thing he had been going to say, and he said it: “We shouldn’t see each other again.”

“Yes we should,” Poe contradicted him immediately, as if that put an end to the whole discussion.  He kissed Ben again, hard and deep, and _kept_ kissing him in between half-gasped phrases.  “You’re just—afraid.  And I’m not—I’m not going to dump you—for someone else, because—you’re all I want.  You’re all I’ve wanted—ever since I met you.”

Poe pulled his mouth back from Ben’s to catch his breath; then he asked, “You. . . _do_ want to be with me too, don’t you?  If you don’t, then. . . then I’ll leave you alone.”  He sounded as if the idea had only just occurred to him, and a tiny crease of worry appeared between the brows over his beautiful dark eyes.

As Ben looked into those eyes, all thoughts of what he should or shouldn’t do dissolved.

“Of _course_ I want you.  God, Poe!”  Ben leaned his head forward to catch Poe’s mouth, then trailed his lips along the smaller man’s jaw and down the delicious, tan skin of his neck.  “I want you—I _need_ you.  This week, I couldn’t think about anything but you, and I was sure I’d never see you again.  You’re—you’re worse for me than the coffee.  Not having that just gives me headaches.  Not having _you_. . . .”  He had reached the base of Poe’s throat, and Poe moaned as Ben sucked on the spot where his clavicles met.  “If I’m going to quit you, I have to do it _now_ , or—”

“Nngh, Ben, you’re not gonna quit.”  Poe’s voice sounded in a tone of mixed cockiness and desperation.  “I’m not gonna let you.”

“Okay,” Ben breathed against Poe’s neck.  Giving in had never felt so _good_ before.

\--

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

Ben saw Poe again the next night, and the weekend after that.  Poe met Ben at the coffee shop some mornings in between, but the next week, Poe was gone on two overnight trips with the pilots he and the other interns were shadowing.  While Ben sat alone in his corner chair those mornings Poe wasn’t there, he found himself spending more time browsing Poe’s social media accounts than he did working—but not because he _missed_ Poe, of course.  Or because he was envious of the other attractive young people in the photos Poe posted from his exotic destinations.  Ben was just bored, and yes, willing to admit he _was_ envious of Poe getting to travel.  Being a pilot did look a lot more exciting than running a business, especially a ready-made business you were taking over from your mother as soon as you got your degree, so she and your good-for-nothing (if anyone asked your opinion, which they never did) father could work on their marriage.

It was a good thing Ben _didn’t_ miss Poe, because as soon as Poe figured out just how boring Ben’s life was, Ben was getting dumped.  He just knew it, and he reminded himself of the fact often.  Ben saw himself as a realist—he preferred that term to “pessimist,” what his mother’s flighty administrative professional called him.  (The administrative professional’s snarky mechanic husband referred to Ben as “a total downer,” which was even worse.)  It was better not to get attached to Poe, to feel a little (just a little) depressed about it now than to be blindsided later when Poe realized he’d made a mistake and decided he’d be happier with someone else.

But Poe was always home on the weekends, and they still went out, or stayed in at Ben’s apartment or Poe’s duplex.  When they were together, Ben’s realism had a way of deserting him: all he could think about was how good Poe made him feel, how _happy_ he was holding Poe’s hand in his, or wrapping his arms around Poe’s body, or feeling Poe’s head resting on his shoulder when Poe was so jet lagged, he fell asleep against Ben watching TV at seven in the evening, and Ben sat there holding him for three hours watching _M*A*S*H_ reruns and being completely unable to think of anywhere else in the entire world he’d rather be.

The week after that, on a Wednesday night a little over a month since their first date, Ben was alone in his apartment looking at the photos on Poe’s Facebook page.  He had expected to see new ones from Poe’s night out in his current location—Miami, this time—but the most recent photo was from the past weekend, and it was of Poe and Ben.  Ben hadn’t wanted Poe to post the selfie he’d taken of them, but Poe had insisted.  Even Ben had to acknowledge it was a good picture of them, and he kept rereading the comments Poe’s Facebook friends had left on it, things like, “Is this the guy you’re always talking about?” and “When do we get to meet him?”  Poe had “liked” every one of the comments, but hadn’t written anything back.  Ben clicked over to Poe’s “About” page, then to “Family and Relationships” to look at the phrase “No relationship info to show.”  The same thing Ben’s own page would read to anyone who viewed it.

Several times over the past month, Ben had almost changed it to “In a relationship.”  _Almost_.  But he never went through with it because he didn’t know whether to tag Poe in the status or not.  What if he did, and Poe refused to accept it?  Or what if he _didn’t_ and Poe got offended—or worse, thought Ben was in a relationship with someone _else_?

Were they even _in_ a relationship?  They were dating, Ben supposed, but they’d never said they were _boyfriends_ , and if Poe wanted it to be official, wouldn’t he have changed _his_ status, and oh yeah, Poe was going to dump Ben any day now, so why bother announcing the relationship at all?

_I’m not going to dump you for someone else, because you’re all I want,_ Poe had said.  _You’re all I’ve wanted since I met you._   Ben hadn’t believed him.  He had spent the past _month_ not believing Poe, convincing himself he didn’t miss Poe when they were apart, and generally making himself miserable.

_And probably making Poe miserable, too,_ Ben realized for the first time.  His hand shook a little as he clicked back to Poe’s wall and looked again at the photo of them together.  _I haven’t let myself trust him, even though he’s never lied to me, even though he’s always been there for me.  If he hasn’t left me yet, after the way I’ve acted—hell, if he went out with me in the first place, knowing what I’m like. . . he’s not **going** to leave me._

Ben abruptly wanted to hear Poe’s voice.  Even though he knew Poe would be out with his friends, Ben scooped up his phone anyway and called.  He could leave Poe a message—and even Poe’s voice mail greeting was cute.  Just hearing that would be better than nothing.

Ben nearly dropped the phone when, instead of a recorded message, Poe’s real, live voice answered his call on the second ring.

“Hello?”  Poe sounded happy, although Ben couldn’t hear any noise in the background, no sounds of a bar or club or wherever it was the intern pilots had decided to hang out that evening.

“P-Poe?” Ben stammered.

“Yeah?”  Poe laughed.  “Were you expecting someone else?”

“N-no, I. . . sorry.  I didn’t think you would answer.  I was just going to leave you a message.”

“Why?  I mean, why didn’t you think I would answer?” Poe asked him.  “If I’m supposed to be mad at you, you’ll have to remind me what I’m mad about.”

Ben chuckled before he could stop himself.  “Quit being silly.  Aren’t you out with your friends?  I didn’t want to bother you.  I just. . . wanted to. . . .”  He almost didn’t say it, but then he decided that he should.  Nevertheless, his voice dropped to a mumble as he admitted, “I miss you, and I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Poe was silent for a beat, and when he did speak, his voice sounded husky.

“Ben.  You _never_ bother me,” Poe told him.  “And no, I didn’t go out.  I’m in the room where we’re staying.  Watching the dumbest movie, actually.  Did you know they made a movie from the _Marmaduke_ comic strip?  It’s on Nickelodeon, and it’s creepy as hell because they CGed the dogs’ mouths so it looks like they’re talking, and it’s lasting like forever because they stuck all these commercials in it—and I _can’t quit watching it_ because I’ve got to know how it ends.”

“Why?” murmured Ben, who had tuned out everything after the word “Marmaduke.”

“Hell if _I_ know.  I mean, I _know_ everything’s gonna be all right, but Marmaduke’s run away from home, and his family and his girlfriend can’t find him and—”

“Poe.  I mean, why didn’t you go out?  Not that the movie doesn’t sound _fascinating_.”  Ben was smiling nevertheless at the adorable way Poe rambled sometimes.

“Oh.  Well. . .  it’s not really any fun without _you_ there,” Poe replied.  “And anyway, the other interns got annoyed with me last time, because, um. . . they said I talked about you too much.  I can’t help it.  I miss you too.”

“Oh.”  Ben swallowed, thinking about “No relationship info to show.”  Then he asked, “Um, Poe. . . am I—am I your boyfriend?”

“Well, everyone _thinks_ you are,” Poe retorted, but then in a softer tone, he murmured, “I _hope_ you are.  Are you?”

“Yeah,” Ben breathed before he gave himself any more time to think about it.  “We just never, you know, made it official, and—Poe, I know I’m not the easiest person in the world to get along with, but you. . . thank you for putting up with me.  And I’m sorry I don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Poe laughed again, gently this time, before he said, “What do you mean you don’t treat me right?  You can deny it all you want, but you can be the sweetest man in the world—every once in a while, when you manage to get over yourself.”

“Then I’m going to get over myself more often,” Ben persisted.  “I didn’t think it would last, Poe.  I really did think you would get sick of me and leave me, because that’s how things always went for me before.  I’m sorry I didn’t give you more credit than that.  You’re—you’re a stubborn little bastard not to give up on me.”  Ben was laughing too by the time he finished.

“Damn right I am,” declared Poe.  “You should have realized that after your very first week coming to the coffee shop.”

“I _did_ realize it.  You kept coming over to check on me, no matter how rude I was to you.  And you kept remaking my drink until you got it right.”  Ben looked down at his laptop’s screen and the photo of the two of them together.  “Poe, you got it right way before I did.”

Poe said, “I won’t be home until late tomorrow night, but can I see you Friday?  And. . . will you spend the night with me?”  Ben felt his face grow warm; like declaring themselves boyfriends, spending the night together was a step they hadn’t even discussed yet. . . but it was something he wanted very much.

“Y-yeah.  And I want to take you out, somewhere nice,” he told Poe.  “You’re sure you want me to stay over?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Poe chided him.  “You know why?  ‘Cos I want to wake you up in the morning by bringing you your perfect coffee.  I’ve thought about doing that for _months_.”  Ben laughed again; he was pretty sure he had laughed more in the past month than he had before in his entire life.

“Normally, I’m not very happy when I wake up, but having my caffeine fix immediately should help,” Ben told Poe, then added, “That and having you be the one to give it to me.”

“I’ll give you more than that.”  Poe’s normally playful voice had taken a decidedly sultry tone.  “In fact, you may need a couple shots of espresso in that coffee to wake you up, because the night before, I’m gonna wear you _out_.”

Ben’s face went from warm to burning as he muttered, “Poe, don’t. . . don’t tease me like that.”

“Who’s teasing?  I’m not promising anything I won’t deliver, baby,” Poe all but purred.

“I don’t doubt it, but you’re thousands of miles away right now,” complained Ben.

“Then I suppose you don’t want to know what I’m going to do to you.”

“No!  No, I don’t!” declared Ben.

“Not even a hint?” teased Poe.

Ben sighed heavily before relenting, “Okay.  But just a hint.”

By the time Poe finished elaborating, in explicit detail, exactly how he planned to “wear Ben out,” and Ben had reciprocated by explaining precisely what he was going to do to Poe in return, it was after midnight, Poe had long since missed the end of his movie, and Ben realized he was going to have a terrible time getting up for class in the morning.  Nevertheless, after they hung up, Ben stayed up long enough to change his relationship status on Facebook.  He was a little nervous about sending Poe the request that would put them “in a relationship” with each other, but by the time Ben had undressed and was ready for bed, Poe had already accepted.

\--

Friday night, Ben took Poe to a musical performance.  True, it wasn’t quite the “somewhere nice” he’d had in mind, as it was just the piano recital of a music major who was one of his former students, but Poe seemed to enjoy it nevertheless.  At the reception afterwards, Ben’s student came up to them gushing and resplendent in a garish green evening gown.

“I’m so glad you came, Mr. Solo!” she enthused before turning to admire Poe.  “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend though!”

Poe smirked, and Ben managed to stammer, “Er, yes, I. . . I do.  This is Poe Dameron.  My boyfriend.”

Poe’s smirk melted into a beam, and the girl squealed, “You two are so _cute_ together!”  To Ben’s relief, she soon drifted off to talk to other guests, and he apologized to Poe in a mumble.

“Sorry.  She was one of my best students—one of the few non-business majors who actually put in any effort in my class—so I felt sort of obligated to come.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry.”  Poe laced his arm under Ben’s and leaned on the taller man with a hint of his smirk returning.  “I certainly don’t mind you showing me off.  Or hearing you call me your boyfriend.  _Mr. Solo._ ”  Ben had managed not to blush in front of his student, but he found himself doing so now.

“Do you think you’ve been shown off enough, though?” he mumbled.  “I’m about ready to go.”

“Unh hunh,” Poe nodded.  When he whispered the next words, he had to stand up on his toes to reach Ben’s ear.  “I want to get you home and do all those things we talked about the other night.”  Ben blushed harder and used his arm to tug Poe toward the door.

They didn’t do _all_ the things on their list, but they got to most of them, and Poe swore they’d do the rest in the morning after Ben had his coffee.  As they lay in Poe’s bed together afterwards, Poe’s smaller body curled to fit perfectly against Ben’s larger one, Ben thought about the past few days he’d spent alone, and what he’d come to realize during them.

“I missed you this week,” he said.  Poe’s face was pressed to the crook of Ben’s neck, and his reply came out muffled.

“Why?”

Ben gave a laugh mixed with a sigh and touched his lips to Poe’s dark, wavy hair.

“I suppose I deserve that.”

“Heh.  You do, but I also really want to know.”  Poe trailed his hand over Ben’s chest, caressing his pale skin lightly with his fingertips.  “What do you miss about me when I’m away?”

“All the things that I used to think annoyed me,” Ben admitted.  “Your energy and cheerfulness and. . . you being a perky little ray of sunshine.”

“And when we’re apart, _I_ miss _you_ being a big grumpy storm cloud,” Poe declared with a chuckle.  He tilted his head back to kiss Ben’s cheek.  “This schedule won’t last forever though.  When we’re done with school and I’m a pilot and you’re a business owner, you can fly with me sometimes.”  He laid his cheek back down on Ben’s shoulder and draped his toned arm over the larger man’s chest to hug him.

“You can telecommute or whatever they call it, and we can see the world together.  Or maybe. . . ,” Poe yawned, “. . . maybe you’ll be so rich and successful, you’ll need a private jet and a private jet pilot.  And then we can see the world together even _more_.  We can go to Paris and see if they—” yawn “—can make coffee as good as I can.  Bet they can’t.  Bet you’ll still bitch about them getting your order wrong at the. . . the fanciest café in all of France.”

Ben folded an arm up over Poe and threaded his fingers through Poe’s curly hair before whispering, “Poe, do you mean it?  That you want to be with me for. . . for years?  Are you sure?”

“Ben, I want to be with you for _ever_ ,” Poe mumbled.  “I know we’ve only been dating a month, but I’ve known you way longer.  I love you, and I’m sure of _that_.”

“Poe. . . .”  Ben nearly choked on his boyfriend’s name.  For a moment, he didn’t believe that Poe meant it—he _couldn’t_ believe it.  But if he was truly a realist, and not a pessimist—or a total downer, whichever— _I **should** believe it,_ Ben thought, _because this **is** real.  I’m here with Poe, and he loves me, and I. . . ._

“I love you too,” he whispered.

\--

Ben was going to have a great day.

He knew it as soon as he woke up, because he woke up to the smell of coffee and, more importantly, to the smell of coffee being brought to him by Poe.  Not surprisingly, Poe was a morning person, and he was almost unbearably perky, but Ben decided he could tolerate “perky” if it meant having the perfect cup of coffee in bed—especially if he was in bed with Poe curled up beside him drinking that obnoxious drink he liked with all the whipped cream.  Ben could taste the intense sweetness of all that sugar when, a few moments later, Poe took Ben’s coffee away and started kissing him, but Ben decided he could tolerate that too.  He even tolerated microwaving the rest of his coffee later after it got cold when Poe’s kisses turned into finishing their to-do list from the night before.

“You look happier,” Poe observed early that afternoon, after they’d showered and were sitting at the table in Poe’s kitchenette so Ben could finally finish his coffee.

“Happier than what?”

“Than you ever did in the coffee shop.”  Poe grinned abruptly.  “Now you look like you’ve been getting kissed.”

“I’ve been getting a lot more than that,” Ben snorted, but then he smiled too.  “And yes, I’m happier.  When you quit that job, I thought I’d never get a decent cup of coffee again. . . and I thought I’d never see _you_ again either.  I guess it’s a good thing you _did_ quit, because it made me realize how addicted I am.”

“To the coffee?” Poe smirked.  “Or to me?”

“Both,” said Ben.  “But mostly to you.  Because I love you.”  This time, he was the one to set his mug aside so he could lean over and pull Poe out of his chair.  Ben tugged the smaller man down into his lap and kissed him.

“I love you too,” said Poe.

Ben _was_ having a great day.  He was going to have a great week too, even though they’d be apart for a few days, because Ben knew that at the end of it, Poe would come home to him.  And every week after it would be good too, for exactly the same reason.

In fact, Ben decided, he was probably going to have a pretty great life.

\--

The End


End file.
